Tuesday, December 20, 2011

9 things not to say to your child (I confess I've said some of them)

Read original article on Parenting.com
  1. Don’t bother me. Instead, tell them why you can't attend to them right this moment.
  2. You're such a ____. Meaning, don't label them.
  3. Don't cry. Instead, address their specific feeling.
  4. Why can't you be more like ____. Instead, focus on their accomplishments.
  5. You know better than that. Hey, maybe they actually don't. Make it an opportunity to reinforce something.
  6. Stop or else ____. Instead, focus on positive reinforcement.
  7. Wait until Mommy/Daddy gets home. Instead, address the matter immediately.
  8. Hurry up! Instead, find calmer ways to speed things up.
  9. Great job or Good boy/girl! Surprised by this? Actually, this positive reinforcement is good as long as it is specific to something he/she said/did/etc.
Confession. I've said to J:
  • Don't bother me, especially at the middle or end of day when we're all particularly tired. I'm learning to tell him why I may need a few minutes/seconds of a break.
  • You know better than that. I should know better than this. J's only 17 months! He's going to need reminding every time that outlets are not toys.
  • Stop or else ____. Is counting to three any better? I should learn to redirect.
  • Hurry up! Boy, do I say this every morning. I'm learning to remain calm though.
  • Great job! I'm learning to praise him for specific things -- and being cute shouldn't be one of them because then he might connect his worthiness to his looks. I wonder if this is equally true for boys and girls...
What suggestions/confessions do you have?

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