Discipline

I believe at either J's 6-month or 9-month checkup, the pediatrician warned us to start thinking about disciplining J, as he would already be manipulating us...whoa!

Thinking back, his worst behavior was throwing food on the floor when he didn't want it anymore. At first, we didn't mind, allowing Coco to pick up the mess. But then we got Jasper, and the dogs got possessive around the highchair, so we tried to put an end to J throwing food on the floor.

It was really hard to stop J. The more we said "no", the harder and faster he threw food on the floor! We asked his teachers what they do at daycare when this happens so that we could be consistent at home. They said, "No, when you're done with something, you can push it to the side but not to the floor." So that's what we did at home.

You know what? Over time, it worked! J still throws things at times. He thinks it's hilarious. He usually does it when he's been sitting there well into 30 min, so who can blame a toddler? We still say "no" but are probably more likely to take everything off the table and take him out of the chair. We probably should really reinforce the "No, you can push it to the side but not to the floor" like we did before.

Well, now that J's 16 months, he needs to be disciplined a lot more. "Discipline" sounds so negative, as if we're punishing J. But discipline just means rules and order. One alternative is chaos, but I've read plenty that says kids need order/routine in their lives. Another alternative is danger. Of course certain things are off-limits. Lastly, we discipline J in order to teach him useful life-skills for success -- manners, sharing, listening, etc.

The discipline tool kit: Successful strategies for every age on BabyCenter.com breaks down age-appropriate discipline. A recurring theme is helping a child understand why he/she is being disciplined. J may be too young to really understand, but as the teachers say, he understands enough at this age.

It's also important that while disciplining, which focuses on the negative, parents should also remember to reinforce the positive. Example, "I'm so proud of the way you set that aside instead of throwing it on the floor."

The most profound thing from the article was to respective my toddler's "no". It's one of the first words toddlers will master because adults say it so often. We say it a lot to Coco and Jasper! I quote "knowing that saying no carries some weight will stop your child from saying it automatically...The more you respect their no, the less often they use it." Deep.

I won't make this post too long, so I'll save what I'm learning about tantrums for another post.