I know that hitting is a natural tendency for toddlers. They're exerting their independence, yet they can't fully express their needs/wants, so they resort to aggressive behavior at times. I should be happy that J is not a biter.
Here's an instance when J might hit one of us.
He doesn't want to leave the comfort of the clothing racks when we're ready to go home.
I googled "toddler hitting" just to make sure we were handling it correctly, with the semi-apology and all. Here's some tips from Baby Center.
Follow up with logical consequences. Meaning make the consequence of the hitting age-appropriate. It's probably useless to reason with J -- how would you like it if someone hit you when they were upset? -- totally over his head. Instead, we should reinforce his feelings -- I know you are upset -- and then tell him to use his words. Though when he's really upset, he won't listen to anything and it's best just to let him calm down first.
Keep your cool. Easier said than done, Baby Center!
Set clear limits. "Try to respond immediately whenever your toddler is aggressive", not waiting until the third time to tell him to "quit it!" Just kidding. Use kind words.
Discipline consistently. Even in public, they say. Wow, that's hard! I just think about how badly we handled our recent stressful, tantrum-atic trip to the zoo. Full post to come soon.
Teach alternatives. "Make sure your child understands that he needs to say he's sorry after he lashes out at someone." Hey, we got one right!
Reward good behavior. This reminds of an earlier Baby Center article that also emphasized this.
Limit TV time. Since even kid shows have people/animals reacting badly.
Please share what you did when your toddlers started hitting/biting/etc.
I'm catching up on all your old posts. lol My son was a biter. It was rough. Remember that at this age their communication skills are pretty limited. When they get frustrated, they hit or bite because they don't know how else to get your attention. I think you are right on about making it clear the first time that hitting is not ok. You may also want to ask him what he wants and help him express his wants in a different way. Don't get discouraged. He won't do it forever but he probably will do it until he is talking well. My son continued to bite until he was 5 or 6. By then it was only when he was extremely angry and his very verbal older sister was pushing all his buttons but it takes a while.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the reminder that my son's biting/hitting because he's learning to communicate. Now that this post is a month old, he's already hitting less. And if he does hit, we remind him to use his words instead.
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