Guess we've been spoiled too long because he's never been a picky eater -- he used to eat rice, noodles, veggies, and every thing in between. We could even enjoy a meal out because he'd be eating too. These days we're lucky if he eats a few pieces of chicken or eggs. We eat out less because he either just wants to play or "all dones" within 30 seconds. No wonder Mommy Rants lists restaurants as their #5 place NOT to take a toddler (hilarious reading by the way).
Our son still LOVES milk though. He'd subsist on that alone, given the choice. Hubby thinks J's drinking too much milk, which reduces his appetite for solids. Valid point. I actually just need to be better about offering him food first before offering milk/juice.
Now I'm all about accommodating my son, but only to a certain manageable point. My meals usually consist of a protein and side vegetable. Prepping a meal (over my lunch break, which I know is a luxury!) and then cook that meal while a tired, hungry, and irritable J toddles around the house. I'm already stressed without having to add a third option to the menu! I do consciously plan menus around foods that J will most likely eat -- soft veggies and meats, etc. But sometimes it doesn't matter because a food he liked last night, he turns his nose to the following night. And it's not like he can just tell me what he wants. And it's not like even if he did, I'd get up out of my chair to prepare a second meal for him! As my co-worker puts it, we're NOT short-order cooks.
Bravo to moms/dads who serve up fun food for their kids -- see these links (1, 2). But I already have to rack my brain for meal ideas (I'm so uninspired!), please don't ask me to form fun shapes too. The hubby's co-worker told him that when her daughter was young, she'd cut up food into specific sizes and shapes because that's the only way her daughter would eat. That's certainly NOT happening in our house.
So to keep me from ripping my hair out every evening, here are some things I try to remember at mealtime, hope some may help you too:
- Tantrums over hand-washing and high-chair sitting WILL happen, but if I let them get to me and show it, J will be even less likely to conform. Being patient and keeping my cool are better (though lengthier) ways to get J to eventually comply.
- Don't show him the milk/juice until he's eaten something. And maybe not even until he asks for it. This morning, I let him eat a whole slice of bread before giving him milk.
- Once he's in the chair, don't be so quick to give up on J. Even if he initially rejects his plate, perhaps he'll see us eat and want to try something. This actually happened the other night!
- When he's done eating, he usually wants out right away, but we're trying to keep him in the high chair longer so that when we are out, he can sit while we finish up.
- It's ok to praise J -- what a good eater, thanks for trying such and such a food -- but we're trying to remember that we don't want him to associate "being good" with being a good eater (can't remember where I read this). It's because we don't want him to associate our approval of him with food, which could lead to eating issues down the road. I know, I'm dramatic.
- Some people will say "offer more options" to a toddler so that he can choose what to eat. Maybe we'll take this advice. Maybe. Here's a list of advice I actually might try though: make a dip or put it on a stick. And I know, as with many behaviors, trial and error, trial and error.
- Lastly, our son will not starve. He will not starve. And it's ok if he's not eating a well-balanced meal. It's just a phase!
We will have this baby/toddler back once again!
What works best in your house to get a toddler to eat?
Or what did your parents do to get you to eat?
Or what did your parents do to get you to eat?
Show some love. Leave a comment below and I'll definitely respond!
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Originally posted at expandng.com - How far will you go to get your toddler to eat?
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Originally posted at expandng.com - How far will you go to get your toddler to eat?
for us, we've always praised K for eating well. in my mind, positive reinforcement is key to repeating good behaviour and toddlers need to know what is good behaviour vs bad behaviour. i praise K for doing "regular things" well like using her manners, eating well, going to the toilet well (when i was potty training her), sleeping well etc etc. it's always worked well for us and K eats like a machine.
ReplyDeleteas for the eating, i'm strict with meal times. K is to remain in her seat for the duration of dinner until everyone is finished. she only eats what we eat and if she complains about wanting to leave, she gets The Look which makes her quiet down fast. our meal times are our family time so we usually chat over meals and talk about our day.
btw, i read the opposite - giving your child too many choices will only confuse them and they will refuse to eat (they get overwhelmed). what i mean is, if you make 5 or 6 dishes instead of your usual 2 or 3 just to get kids to eat, you'll likely end up tossing it out.
some things i've learned along the way: keeping toddlers on a good schedule helps. tired kids don't eat well. i know when K is tired for whatever reason one day, she doesn't eat well. i never push her to eat if she doesn't want to but something i've noticed. if you let them graze/snack all day, they won't be hungry at meal times and kids can definitely fill up on milk and/or juice. if you feed your kids around the same time every day, you are setting their internal clock to feel hungry at those times so a good schedule for eating (and sleeping is important). we all have internal clocks (aka circadian rhythms) and we function best when our internal clocks are set to a predictable and regular schedule.
sorry for the long response :\
adorable picture of jacob!
ReplyDeleteOh how I feel your pain!! My son N was the same way. He was such a picky eater. I have to confess he still has some issues even at 10 but he has made huge strides. I do agree that we are not short order cooks. We cook meals that we hope everyone will enjoy. I have to admit I was not very good at getting N to eat the things that we ate. Many a night he ate a peanut butter sandwich while we ate dinner. With kid #2, C, I don't know if we did a better job or if he is just a great eater.
ReplyDeleteWith C, though he fought and fought the high chair. So at a very young age we ditched the chair. Initially we put him in a booster that strapped to the regular chair and he enjoyed this for a while but eventually we found that if he sat on his knees in a regular chair at the table he was much better. He just wanted to be part of the "big kid" table. Granted we had a few more spills to clean up but at least the screaming stopped.
But over the years I have picked up on a few things that work:
1. No toys at the table.
2. Every one stays at the table until everyone is done. Once he is vocal you can let him tell you about his day after he is done eating. This will give you more time to finish your meal.
3. Once our kids were talkative we went through a period where we used a timer. Everyone got two minutes to talk without any interruptions. We would pass the timer around the table until the meal was over. It gave everyone a chance to be the center of attention.
4. Try to limit drinks at least 30 minutes before a meal. And then don't let them down the entire glass as soon as you sit down.
5. We have never been supporters of the clean plate club. We start with small portions and you can always ask for more.
6. For N, we had a food chart. Every time he tried a new food he got a sticker on the chart. After 5 stickers he would get to pick what was for dinner that night. If he liked something we added it to his like list. Then when I cooked it again if he said he didn't like it I could show him the list to "jog" his memory. You might be able to incorporate the same thing with pictures (since your such a shutter bug).
7. I would try to make snack time a "cute food" time every once in a while. My favorite example is the "fishing" snack. I used a divided dish and carried this in the car to keep the kids occupied. In one spot I would put a dollop of peanut butter. In another goldfish. Then I would give them pretzel rods. They would dip it in the peanut butter and "fish" out the gold fish. They loved this snack for years. Hmm maybe I'll put it out for a special flashback snack. Family Fun magazine is a great source for these type of things.
I agree with the previous post. Try to eat at the same time every night. Make sure he isn't overly tired. And this to shall pass.
Keep up the good work!
you have some great tips. it's hard to get my kids to eat at meal times.... and being the ghetto mom that i am, i sometimes "threaten" like... "no bike time if you don't eat!" but my hubs always reminds me that i should say "you'll get bike time if you eat!" i have to limit snacks in between meals. :P
ReplyDeleteI keep in mind that kids need three servings of dairy...so for my kids that means two cups of milk and then yogurt and cheese during meals. We offer no juice, or very little, mostly water. When mine went thru a liquid diet stage I stopped offering liquids at meals, I gave them after. Alos, keep in mind that serving sizes for toddlers are in tablespoons. Also, my doc points out that toddlers will balance out their diet over the course of a week, not over a day. Dr. Sears reccomends setting up a toddler buffet of healthy finger foods in an egg carton for them to pick and choose. I only serve one meal, and my kids have learned to get what they need or want from that. I keep their tastes in mind, but I don't really cook "kid" food...I cook family food! I think you are doing a great job!
ReplyDeleteBaby C doesn't have a huge problem with eating right now. But like J, she'll love a food one day and throw it on the floor the next. Our problem is getting Baby C to drink enough milk. It's not that she doesn't like it, she just doesn't take enough in throughout the day.
ReplyDeleteI did hear that as long as they get one good meal in a day, they will be fine. The first time (and last) I gave Baby C eggs, she kept pushing them away. I finally just put it on her tongue so she would at least taste it. She broke out in hives. She is a allergic. Holy cow, I have the biggest mommy guilt for that one. Now I never force her to eat anything.
Oh you can see the glint in his eye! Cheeky thing!!! It's the worst when they don't want to eat, so stressful. But as our baby care nurse always says, 'they'll eat when they're hungry', it's highly unlikely that he is going to starve. All the above comments from more experienced mum's sound good. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteI love this post, because at some time or another, every parent will face this challenge. The biggest lesson for me is not to get angry, upset, frustrated or disappointed about Gavin's eating (because, as you suggested, toddlers will feed off that negative energy and that's not helping anyone!). We sometimes offer Gavin too many options at home (guilty!). But, we never cook a separate meal for him. Oftentimes, we feed him leftovers from the night before while I cook dinner for that night. I also have gotten over Gavin having to sit in his highchair to eat. Sometimes he stands on an ottoman at the counter, other times he sits on our laps. So long as he's eating, I'm less concerned about it being a formal meal. Finally, someone once told me not to think about making sure your toddler eats the perfect meal every single meal. Over the course of a few days (or over a week, as the case may be), so long as your kid is getting the nutrients, it doesn't matter if certain meals wouldn't constitute a meal in your official book. =) PS - I'm never making food into faces either - I find that kinda creepy weird. hahaha.
ReplyDeleteYou listed such great tips for parents to use, just have to do what works for you and your little one :)
ReplyDeleteI talked to our pediatrician about this when we had two foster children who wouldn't eat. He said, like most comments here, that you shouldn't provide 5 different options for them, but make dinner as usual and if they don't eat it don't worry about it, they will eat it when hungry enough, just make sure they are properly hydrated. Sometimes they just aren't that hungry. Just wait until J goes through another growth spurt! You won't be able to give him enough food!
ReplyDeleteOh Lisa. We have toddler eating issues too. He does fine during breakfast and lunch but dinner is a nightmare. We have to fight him to get him into his booster seat, fight him to eat, fight him to chew... you get the idea. This week we tried something new and it's working. Not sure if it's a fluke but fingers crossed! Since he's craving independence, we've been asking him guided questions to give him "control." For example, "Dinner time! Would you like your blue spoon or red spoon?" "Can you help Mommy by spooning some of that food in your mouth?" followed by ample amounts of praise and encouragement. He LOVES being told he's a good boy :)
ReplyDelete