Day 12: The lies they tell expectant moms about sleep

[Source: Learn Something Everyday]

It's every new expectant mom's rite-of-passage to read a lot books like What to Expect, subscribe to Parents magazine, and gather lots and lots of advice from mommies...at least I did. Besides how many diapers and onesies will I need?, the other questions I had were related to sleep.

How much will my baby sleep? How do I get him to sleep? Do I let him cry himself to sleep? When can I expect to get eight hours of uninterrupted sleep? I know...selfish! And according to What to Expect, if my objective after having a baby was to get him to sleep through the night, I shouldn't be should rethink why I'm having a baby. Uh-oh.

Anyways, I let that particular comment go. Because, very much like that comment, many things that books and magazines and even *gasp* moms tell you about sleep are...wait for it...lies! Ok, maybe not lies but certainly not-always-applicable truths! Let me try to put into one paragraph the lies I was told. 

--- If your baby won't go to sleep on his own, try to have as little physical contact with him as possible. Try speaking to him first, then maybe patting his back. If all else fails, you may rock him, but only for the minimum amount of time necessary because if you coddle him too much, he'll never learn to sleep on his own, have sleep issues into his childhood and even into adulthood. He won't survive college (because he can't fall asleep of course) and will move back home with you, where you'll have to rock him to sleep every night. ---

Oh my goodness, I was sooo afraid to coddle my son too much! I talked to him -- no luck. I patted his back -- no luck, especially when he's supposed to sleep on his back! I rocked him for 5 min., let him cry for 5 min. Repeat rinse repeat. No luck!

Sleep-deprived and out of options, I weighed my alternatives. I certainly don't want my son to have sleep issues into adulthood...But I really want him (and me!) to get some much needed sleep...So, I'm just going to rock him as long as needed, and if that doesn't work, I'm going to hold him. I just knew that I'd regret these decisions -- he's going to be 30 years old and still need me to rock him to sleep!

Well, ya know what?! Even after all those combined hours of rocking and coddling, he's been falling asleep on his own pretty well starting around 5 or 6 months. There are times, of course, when he still needs a few hugs at 18 months. And we've been known to sit in the rocking chair sometimes as he tries to fall asleep. When he wakes up in the middle of the night because of nightmares or teething, we do go in and rock him a bit.

But you know what?! I enjoy it most of the time. Sometimes, I just him to hit the sack immediately. I've had a long day and don't have the patience for rocking, singing, and waiting! I enjoy the times I need to soothe him because he rests his tiny head on my shoulder, wraps his arms around me, breathes in and out so deeply -- it's just all so heartwarming. Usually, he'll have "enough" of all the coddling, lean towards his crib, and I'll know he's ready to go back to bed. So it seems like no harm, no foul! Whew!

I know every child is different, and maybe I just got lucky, but I just think that some advice is given with these warnings that are way too exaggerated! I mean that stuff about sleep issues into his college years, I actually read somewhere! So, expectant moms:

Take all advice with a grain of salt!
Follow your instincts and your heart!
Get your baby (and yourself) to sleep anyway you want/can!

P.S. The only advice I really take is try never to wake a sleepy baby!  Show some love. Leave a comment below
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